


the universe keeps pulling us apart

by mariechen



Series: if we only had more time - Bellarke Soulmate AU [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 13:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15973769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariechen/pseuds/mariechen
Summary: He doesn’t know why he keeps writing to her.Maybe it’s his way of staying sane.Bellarke Soulmate AU





	the universe keeps pulling us apart

**Author's Note:**

> This is more of a sequel to my other story if we only had more time. So it might make sense to read that one first to fully unterstand this one.

He is staring down at the earth. 

Another day on the Arc. 

Another view of clouds and clouds and clouds of smoke down there. 

Bellamys eyes drift over the globe beneath him. Trying to pinpoint the place they took their stand against an unbeatable foe. 

The place she took her last stand.

 

The pen in his grip is unbelievable heavy. 

These words are his last connection to her. 

His latest message already smudged. 

How fast the words on his skin fade just reminds him of how the time passes without her. Every faded message reminds him that the world goes on without her in it.

 

He doesn’t tell the others what losing her means to him.

He doesn’t have to. 

 

As soon as they saw the scribbles on his skin, the way he was clutching the pen like a lifeline, their eyes filled with understanding. 

Understanding and pity.

He understands.

 

They lost her too.

They lost a friend.

A comrade.

A leader.

 

But he?

He lost his soulmate. 

The head to his heart.

 

He doesn’t know why he keeps writing to her.

Maybe it’s his way of staying sane.

His way to brace every new day in the sky with nothing but his guilt for the years to come.

Guilt of not only leaving her behind but his sister too, also way too young to be a leader to her people.

 

God what he would give to be able to talk to her.

He wants to tell her about Grounders in space. How Emori is finding a home with Murphy up here. A family with all of them. 

How strong Monty and Harper are after everything that happened to them on earth. How he can see hope and the future when he looks at them. 

How he misses her with every breath he takes. 

He wants to tell her how he searches for her every time he enters a room, still expecting her to be there for a split second before he remembers. 

He wants her to be there to share their laughter, the smiles that aren’t as rare as they were before.

He wants to talk with her about the things they did on earth to save their people.

He wants her to be a part of this little broken family they are slowly building.

He wants her to be alive.

He just wants.

The heaviness of it settled deep down in his stomach a while ago, curling around, dragging him down with every breath, with every step he takes. 

Pointing him in every direction at once and none at all at the same time.

He feels so so lost.

He can’t say what he would sacrifice to have her back. To know that she is there on the other end receiving his messages. 

His eyes drag back to his skin.

 

It takes him a second to understand what is putting him off.

A new word appeared.

A new addition to the letters he wrote.

 

_ Bellamy _

 

For a second the hope that warms his body is overwhelming. 

Then reality washes over him. 

His eyes are playing a trick on him. They have to be. 

Nobody, not even her, could survive what happened down there.

His fingers try to rub the memory of her away. This cruel, cruel trick his mind is playing on him. 

But only his message smudges and gets unreadable under his fingertips. The new addition of red letters is still glaring up at him from his wrist. 

He doesn’t understand.

He looks on as more words etch themselves into his skin.

 

_ It’s been 58 days since Praimfaya _

 

His heart stops.

This can’t be happening.

This feels too real.

His whole body shakes. 

His knees give out under him and he drops down on them in a heavy fall. 

The sound echoes along the corridor.

He doesn’t know what to do.

His eyes never leave the words appearing on his skin. 

Afraid they could disappear.

 

_ I’m still alive _

_ The nightblood worked _

 

The words blur before his eyes. 

Clarke’s alive.

Clarke’s alive.

Clarke’s alive.

A mantra in his head.

A sob leaves him.

 

_ Are you alright? Everyone else too? _

 

He frantically searches for the pen he dropped when her - Clarkes’ - words first appeared. 

 

_ You’re alive? _

 

Somehow he manages to write these words down despite the shaking that has taken over his whole body.

His eyes burn with dryness.

Closing his eyes for even a second might make these words disappear.

Make all of this a dream.

 

_ Bellamy. _

_ I made it. _

_ I’m alive. _

 

With every second, with every letter, this seems more real.

He wants to remember every curve of her letters.

He wants to burn the words into his mind.

She’s alive.

Gods, Clarkes alive.

A heavy, heavy weight lifts of his chest.

He lets out a breath.

Her name leaves his lips in quiet whisper for the first time in 58 days.

It almost feels foreign on his tongue.

For the first time in a while his breath comes easy.

But only for a second.

Then the weight comes back.

She is going to be alone down there for years.

And it’s his fault.

He left her behind.

 

_ I’m sorry for leaving you behind. _

 

He tries to find more words but nothing feels enough.

 

_ You have nothing to be sorry for.  _

_ If you hadn’t leave when you did, none of you would be alive right now.  _

_ You did what you had to do. _

_ It’s not your fault. _

 

The new words appear in a hasty scribble.

She too tries to find the right words but they never seem enough.

Soon their bodies are covered in their conversation.

  
  


_ I found a nightblood! A real one! _

_ What?? _

_ Her name is Madi. She’s so young! And probably a half demon. _

_ A what now? _

_ Believe me, I don’t think you want to know _

_? _

_ I will tell you when you get back here. _

_ I’ll hold you to that. I’m glad you’re not alone anymore. _

 

_ I tell her stories about you. _

_ About me? What kind of stories? _

_ You, all of the others. Of 100 and one coming back to earth after living in the sky. _

_ I hope you don’t tell her everything we did. _

_ No, not everything _

 

_ I never asked how you did it? _

_ Did what? _

_ How you managed to survive after Praimfaya? _

_ I survived but it felt like I lost everything along the way. I lost my father, my mother, my friends… And you. It was so hard. For a few days - after I went to the bunker and couldn’t make contact, after I wandered around the dessert that now covers the earth - I really thought that this was it. That this is how I’d die. But then I found the valley, I found Madi and I got you back and it got easier with every passing day. But sometimes at night, when everything is quiet, my mind takes me back to the dunes of dust under my knees, the dry air in my lungs and it takes me a while to remember that I’m not alone anymore. _

 

_ It’s been 365 days since Praimfaya. _

_ Only 1460 days to go. _

 

_ Wish Madi a Happy Birthday! _

_ Happy Birthday Madi! _

_ She can’t wait to meet you - all of you _

 

_ How is everyone? _

_ The food up here could use some improvements but we’re fine. I’m a bit worried about Murphy though, he keeps shutting himself off from us. _

_ Murphy is not someone who thrives on peace. _

_ No, but I hope he can get there someday. _

_ Yeah, me too. _

 

_ I can’t sleep _

_ Me neither _

_ I miss you, I miss hearing your voice, I miss having you by my side _

_ I miss you too _

  
  


_ Bellamy? _

 

_ Bellamy? _

 

_ Are you all right? _

 

_ Please answer me. _

 

_ I’m so so sorry, Clarke. _

_ We are not coming home soon. _

  
  


_ It’s been 2199 days since Praimfaya. _

_ And today you’re finally coming home. _

_ I’m coming home. _

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!  
> After part 1 of this a few people wanted more of my story! So here it is I guess!  
> If you liked this please leave a review or kudo I crave that validation  
> My tumblr is mereadingandstuff if you want to scream with me about just everything!  
> Read you next time!


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